Monday, September 26, 2011


It was three years ago today. I made the best decision of my life and married Rob Whitman.

Inevitably, many people talk about the bride at a wedding. But much of the feedback I heard on my wedding day was about the expression on my new husband's face. People said he was the happiest groom they'd ever seen, and that he couldn't stop smiling. I loved hearing it then, and I love remembering it now.

And I'm pretty sure I was the happiest bride.

I love being married to Rob. Occasionally I write super sappy blog posts about my husband and how I feel about him. But this year, I am having a hard time putting it into words. Life has been amazing since I met him, but somehow it gets better each year. I didn't think we could possibly feel closer and have a deeper connection than we had a year ago, but we do.

Sometimes I try to do something to show how much I care. I made him a cookbook for his birthday:

I dedicated my Master's degree thesis to him:

But somehow it never seems like enough. And I know this blog post won't be enough either. But I'll keep going.

Since I can't find the right words to describe Rob, let's talk about our marriage.

One thing I love about our marriage is that we talk about everything. EVERYTHING. This is especially good because we can easily talk about things that are bothering us or things we might want to make better, without the other person getting defensive or feeling like we're making something into a bigger deal than it should be. I've heard other couples say that they are sometimes afraid to bring up feelings about a small issue because it may seem like they are overreacting or making it into a big deal. But when you talk about everything, nothing is really a big deal. In fact, it makes it pretty easy to conquer any problem, no matter how small or large. Not that we have a lot of problems - I actually think we have an alarmingly small number of problems as a couple, and I think that's a direct result of our open communication.

Sometimes we talk about changes we'd like to make to our lifestyle. Sometimes we talk about things we want to do when we're elderly. Sometimes we talk about our daily observations or what happened at work. Sometimes we talk about how the Counting Crows are underrated. Sometimes we talk about football or P90x. We never seem to run out of things to talk about.

We don't fight about money. We were told this is one of the biggest issues to overcome as a young, married couple. But we set up the fun money budget plan (read details here), and so it's been a total non-issue for us.

We spend a lot of time together. Most people say that couples need autonomy, and each person should maintain their individual independence. And we do. We each have our own hobbies and interests, and we spent time apart or with our friends. But I can honestly say that everything is better with Rob. There's no one I'd rather be with, no matter what I'm doing.

We have been together almost every day since we met, more than five years ago. And it still doesn't feel like enough. When we spend time apart, we miss each other.

We encourage each other to try new things and explore our passions. Rob convinced me to buy a camera, and photography has become my favorite thing to do. I encourage Rob when he plays guitar and writes songs. I help him plan and execute DIY projects. Make things. Fix things... and I tell him how proud I am of the finished product. And he makes me feel like everything I do has value and meaning. There's no place for fear of failure in our marriage.

We make decisions together, always. Whether they are big or small. We always consider the other's opinion (and feelings), and we easily compromise when needed. There's no place for stubbornness, control battles, or egos in our marriage.

When I'm upset, Rob always knows the right thing to say. And sometimes the right thing to say is not saying anything at all. Earlier this year, I received a call that my grandfather had died. I cried and cried and somehow choked out some words about what I was feeling - things I remembered about my grandpa and the kind of man he was. And Rob just hugged me as tightly as he could and let me talk as I sobbed. He didn't say a word. When he finally stopped hugging me and pulled back for a second, I saw that he had tears in his eyes too. I've never seen him cry before, but he nearly broke down when he saw me in pain. I can't believe I am loved that much.

Speaking of love... Sometimes we annoy people with our public displays of affection. I make no apologies.

He doesn't particularly like having his photo taken, but he puts up with it. For me. And maybe for the kisses.

He makes me laugh, constantly. At least once a day, he makes me laugh so hard that I have tears in my eyes. He is the funniest person I know.

I don't know what else to say. I don't know how I got so lucky or why Rob loves me so much. It doesn't quite seem fair. But I do know that I will continue to try and be the best wife I can be, and try to show him how much I appreciate him. Every day. It's the least I can do.

I love you, husband. And I promise I always will. That's all I have to say about that.

More posts about us:


Georgia September 26, 2011 at 8:02 AM  

You two are fantastic and inspiring. It's been great spending time with both of you!

Mike September 26, 2011 at 9:27 AM  

Congrats! I'm not sure what to say that won't be cheesy but your post made me smile :)

Sarah (Mrs. Ruffled Flats) September 26, 2011 at 11:25 AM  

So beautiful! Every word sounded just like what I would say about my hubby. We've only been married for a month and a half, but he's been my best friend and soul mate already for six years. It's so nice to know others have successful, strong, and loving marriages which are so few and far-between these days.

I'm so glad you shared this! Happy anniversary!

Anonymous September 26, 2011 at 3:27 PM  

maybe it's because i'm feeling a bit homesick already, but this post made me cry. love you guys. kristi, you're the best thing that ever happened to Rob. this is from Ann, by the way--i just didn't feel like logging in to my account. :-P

Leslie October 2, 2011 at 9:33 PM  

congrats on a great marriage!!
And I agree - the counting crows ARE underrated:)

p.s. Love the PDA - keep it up!

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